Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Inner Game of Break Ups



When you are dealing with a split, it can be one of the hardest things to go through. Not only do you have to pick up the pieces of your life and move on, but you also need to deal with all of the discouraging thoughts, emotional turmoil, stream of what-if thinking and self-doubt.

What do you do about it and how can you get your mind in order?

Well, first of all, it's vital to know this is really about you. Plenty of folk might have trouble coping with a split because they tend to look outside of themselves for verification or to feel emotionally okay.

However you've got to realize that how you are feeling is wholly about you and how you focus your brain.

Some "dating pros" might call this "inner game." Inner game is basically about how you think and how you see yourself. It encompasses your sentiments about yourself, the world around you, and your ex.

If you're battling with your emotions and your total well-being after your break up, there's an even chance that you may be having inner game problems.

OK, you may be thinking, I feel bad, and that is my fault.So, what do I do about it?

Well, the very first thing is to realize that unproductive thoughts come from targeting your thoughts on what you do not want. That's right, any time you're feeling bad, emotionally, it is because you are thinking about something you do not want, do not have, or lost.

Take a second and mull it over. Isn't that true?

Here is what you can do about it. You can simply change your thoughts and think about something you do want instead.

That may seem a bit simplified, and there is indeed a lot more when you get down into the details, but if you can really change your thoughts and get yourself to contemplate positive things or enjoy your own life, you will begin to feel a little bit better.

When you concentrate on what you want, you can immediately feel good. Instead of stressing about what might happen if you can't get her back, wondering why "{my ex girlfriend hates me~my ex girlfriend hates me~my ex gf hates me~my ex girlfriend hates my guts~she hates me~my ex hates me|my ex girlfriend hates me," or if {he's~he is} {actually~truly~really} {gone for good,~gone forever,~lost forever,} you can {begin~start} to drift {back into~into} those {negative thoughts~unproductive thoughts~negative feelings}.

It {can be a~could be a} lot of work to maintain your {concentration~focus} on what you {want~desire}. But with {a bit of~a little bit of~some} practice {you are going to~you'll~you will} be able to {develop the skill~improve} and {it'll~it will} get {easier~simpler~less complicated}. {After all~In fact~Of course}, {concentrating on~focusing on} what you {need~want} feels {nice,~good,~great,} right?{Hence~So,~Therefore} wouldn't you naturally {begin~start} to do more of that if it led {straight to~on to} you feeling better about your life and letting go of the {pain~agony~discomfort} of the {split up~break up~split}?

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